Monday, June 15, 2009

Elmo Goes to the Doctor

There is a book at Greg & Krista's house that's entitled Elmo Goes to the Doctor, or something to that effect. I have read this book a few times. Kesiah and Addie both enjoy it, and it's right at my reading level, so it works out nicely for everybody. Audrey and I saw the OBGYN this afternoon, and I am thrilled to report that our doctor's visit almost exactly mirrored Elmo's as described in his epic adventure, with a few very small exceptions:

1. Audrey is at a very healthy weight. Elmo, on the other hand, was found to be morbidly obese. Morbidly. He wears it well, but, like all Muppets, Elmo is deceptively a fat fatty.

2. The doctor gave us peace-of-mind about our upcoming vacation. She prescribed some good and safe helper-outers for Audrey in case the nausea is still around at that point. (It's shown no signs of abating yet..) Elmo was given only a pat on the head and a lollipop. I think that's what they call "holisitc medicine" on Sesame Street. Here in America we call it a "giant scam."

3. Due to the fibroid cysts, Audrey's uterus is where it would normally be on a lady 20 weeks great with child. Elmo's uterus is where it would normally be on an androgenous Muppet. So, we win.

4. Everything is going exceptionally well! Audrey is such a brave and capable mommy-to-be, and we've got excellent doctors. Elmo sadly still suffers from uncontrollable giggle-fits and an aversion to first-person pronouns.

To sum up, ours was a perfect check-up. Elmo has a ways to go, and I'm sure I'll be reading all about it.

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